Coronavirus And Your Wedding - Planning Advice for Couples
Yes, another article on Coronavirus. But I promise to keep this one helpful and please know that I’m writing this in an effort to serve you in the best way I know how. There’s so many opinions out there but I think it’s best to just stick to helpful advice right now. Learn more about ways to still hold your wedding, rescheduling your wedding, and keeping your guests up to date.
Holding an Upcoming Wedding
As of the time I’m writing this article (March 16th), the CDC is advising all events with over 50 attendees be postponed. Learn more here. If you are planning an event in the next 8 weeks, you could consider reducing your guest size to less than 50 attendees. I know big weddings are kind of a big deal here in the midwest, but I promise you, small weddings are so special too. They’re intimate and I find couples to be so much more relaxed throughout their wedding day.
Smaller weddings also allow you to be more flexible with their day, since it’s more about you than it is about entertaining 200 people.
Once the wedding becomes about you and not the event, you open yourself up to so many things that just weren’t possible or appropriate with a bigger wedding. Think portraits of just the two of you somewhere really special and offsite. Maybe that smaller guest list gives you room in the budget for something you couldn’t have done otherwise? I’ve heard couples talk about doing a hot air balloon ride. Maybe that floral installation that wasn’t in budget. A large canvas of your favorite portrait? The sky’s the limit. Just know that at this time, it is still possible to still hold your wedding while still following the CDC’s advice. You just might have to be a little flexible and show a little grace to those who cannot attend due to health reasons.
Showing Grace in this Moment
In the midwest, and many other places, our people are a big deal to us. And while I know it’s so important to have those that you love at your wedding, not everyone will be able to make it. Whether you’re reducing your guest list or you’re hearing from those that cannot come, I encourage you to find grace in this moment.
The elderly and those with underlying health conditions are especially affected by this virus and it’s important to encourage those people to not come. Now is not the time to be guilting your elderly grandma into coming. Or your best-friend who is immunocompromised. I know this all probably goes without saying but I think the reality of it feels a lot differently. It might hurt to think about someone really special not being there, but doing this is out of love and respect for them. I know some people out there still think this all isn’t that big of a deal, but I’m well connected internationally through my work, and I can tell you with certainty that it is a bigger deal than people think. And we’ll see that soon here with our hospitals.
You may find yourself debating holding a wedding without some of those special people there or postponing it so they can come. I don't have that answer for you. Only you and your fiancee can answer that question. But I’d encourage you to ask yourself if you really want to postpone your marriage to a date with no guarantees. We really don’t know how long this will last so there are still no guarantees that postponing your wedding will make it possible for those people to come. And that is something to think about too.
Whatever it is that you decide, do it with grace and love and you’ll never go wrong.
Postponing Your Wedding
Some of you may decide that having all of your people present is more important than holding your wedding in the next few weeks, and postponing your wedding is best. If the US government implements stricter quarantine measures like Europe and China have already, you may even be forced to postpone your wedding. So let’s talk about how you can do that while minimizing financial impact.
Before you run to your venue to reschedule, there’s some important things you need to do first. First, gather the contracts of all the vendors you have already booked. You’re going to want to review their policies on monies paid to date and cancellations. Make a list of non-refundable retainers or other monies. If your wedding is very close and you’ve made partial or final payment, their contract may state that it’s non-refundable. I don’t personally do this, only my retainer is non-refundable, but you’re going to want to make a list of all of this by vendor.
Now, go back to your venue to find out what future dates are still available. Check with your vendors too. What dates are all of them still available? Can you find a date that works for everyone? If not, you’ll want to pick a date that allows you to keep the vendors that are either most important to you or will cause you a financial impact to cancel.
Some things to consider here.
Your current venue might not be available. Does it make sense financially to change venues?
Would keeping your venue cause a greater financial impact from cancelling other vendors that aren’t available that date?
Would picking a new venue and keeping your other vendors be a better financial decision?
Pick another date that allows you to keep ALL of your vendors. Think Thursdays, Fridays, Sundays. I promise you, these days are totally fine. I’ve done weddings on all these days and it’s no less beautiful. If a guest can’t come on a Thursday, is it truly that important for that person to be there anyway?
If a vendor is not available on your new date, be flexible with them. Trust me, they don’t want you to cancel either. Ask them what ideas or options they have so you can still work together.
Edit: After consulting with other vendors today I also want to add that you should make a list of those vendors who cannot do more than one wedding per day. Those vendors should also be given some priority. Some of these vendors may also have associates who can work in place of them, allowing them to take multiple weddings in a day. For example, your photographer may be booked on the new date you choose, but they may have an associate photographer who can photograph your wedding. Your photographer would still be your main point of contact and you would still get your photographers editing style.
Postponing a wedding is not a decision anyone wants to make and it’s not one anyone saw coming. So again, be graceful in this moment. Your vendors are probably a little stressed out too.
Keeping Your Guests Up To Date
Keeping your guests up to date with all of this might be a little stressful. Or maybe some of you don’t even know how to do that efficiently. Not everyone is on Facebook and your update posts might be getting lost in their feeds. I thought hard about this and I’m listing a few options here from my least favorite to my most favorite:
Compile an email list of your entire guest list. Email them updates as things change. Not super efficient but it works.
Create a Facebook Private Event Page for your wedding. Not everyone is on Facebook but this is somewhat efficient. But it might get difficult to manage if you end up reducing your guest list
Create a Wedding Website. I’m going to walk you through how to do this - for free. Sign up below to learn more. I’m going to do a video tutorial sometime in the next week, and I’d love for you to join me!
Although I’m 100% on board with the no-panic message, I do think this is a time to be prepared and thoughtful. Not thinking about these things might cause people to panic later and I want you to be informed and ready for change when called for. If you’re at all uncertain about something, anything, please reach out. Even if you’re not my client, I’m here and I’ll do my best to help in any way I can.
To my clients, I’ll be in touch separately with those of you with upcoming wedding dates and I’m here if you need anything at all.
With Love, Kelly